


Golems for Dybbuks

by RobberBaroness



Category: Jewish Legend & Lore
Genre: Advertising, Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobberBaroness/pseuds/RobberBaroness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finally, the charity you didn't know you needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Golems for Dybbuks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zdenka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zdenka/gifts).



We’re sure you have some questions, so let’s get those out of the way. Is what we do holy? In fact, our staff maintains no less than three Rabbis (Orthodox, Conservative and Reform) to oversee any and all operations. While there is no exact Talmudic precedent for our business, we still work with the wisdom of centuries.

Is what we do costly? Our business is entirely charitable- all we ask is that you give us as much history of the situation as you can. We rely on word of mouth to recommend our services, and have little to no overhead costs (aside from transportation, which we manage ourselves.) The way we look at things, we’re performing a public service, helping ourselves as well as the unfortunates who call us.

Our proposition is simple: golems for dybbuks. You bring us the haunting spirit, we’ll provide it with a new home.

Since 1600, we have worked to create this high-quality solution to two different problems plaguing the Jewish community- the restless dead and the unthinking clay. Seperately, both a golem and a dybbuk spell disaster, but together? Together they become a thing of beauty. With the mind which clings to life and a body built to protect villages, our hybrids are like no other beings on Earth. 

Testimonials are vulgar, of course, but that doesn’t mean we don’t keep them.

“When my beloved passed away, we thought only death could reunite us- until we found Golems for Dybbuks!”- Leah’le, 1914

“My husband was getting shaken down by the protection rackets, and my sister was being haunted by the prizefighter who used to live in her house. Thanks to Golems for Dybbuks, our problems solved themselves!”- Hannah, 1930

“Since I called Golems for Dybbuks, my grandfather’s creation can think as well as act! My Brooklyn neighborhood has never felt safer.”- Josh, 2012

Whether you have a beast you can’t get rid of or a holy weapon that needs an extra touch, we’ll be there for you. All you have to do is call.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for a lovely series of prompts! I'm sorry I never did anything related to Princess Tutu, since I love that series, but I just couldn't find a way to fit it in anywhere. I hope you've enjoyed the stories, and I hope you enjoy the pictures! Chag sameach!
> 
> Helen of Troy  
> [](http://s182.photobucket.com/user/filmnoirbaby/media/helen_zps9769a613.png.html)
> 
> The Women of the Magic Flute  
> [](http://s182.photobucket.com/user/filmnoirbaby/media/magic_zps23165b13.png.html)
> 
> Rebecca  
> [](http://s182.photobucket.com/user/filmnoirbaby/media/rebecca_zps261fd785.png.html)


End file.
